Full of Grace
by ThatBlondeGirl
Summary: *Edited* OneShot - Aerith reflects on Sephiroth, his life and their future. Slightly AU. Songfic.


Full of Grace

By: AngelPaw

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Everything recognizably FFVII is property of Square-Enix and, the song _Full of Grace_ is Sara McLachlan's

_The winter here's cold, and bitter  
it's chilled us to the bone  
we haven't seen the sun for weeks  
to long too far from home_

I understand what you went through. I feel it. I just know. Don't ask, please don't. Many may not have understood why I did it, but that's all right, because you do. I'm glad you do. After all I did it for you. I wish I could spent more time with you before all of this happened. I don't know what kind of person you thought you were. But, I knew you were a good one.

You were warped and tormented, called different. It hurt, didn't it? I know it did; because, I was always different too. But, I was raised with love; I always had my mother there to protect me. You never had anyone. You were raised in the cold and sterile world of science. Battle tactics and materia origins were you're storybooks just as obstacle courses and white halls were your playgrounds.

Had something been different, could we have truly been together? Would we have ever had a chance to be truly happy? There are too many 'what-ifs' to count too many changes that could have been made. Your destiny was not shaped by you, as it should have been. Everything in your life was controlled and dictated by your master.

Tell me, did you ever do anything on your own accord? Had you ever gone to the places in this world for pleasure instead of work? Had you ever walked along the beach feeling the soft sand beneath your feet and the cool water brush you ankles? Watched the sun set or moon rise? I guess not.

I would have shown you everything.

_I feel just like I'm sinking  
and I claw for solid ground  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
I never thought I could feel so low  
oh darkness I feel like letting go_

It's strange; when you killed me I didn't feel a thing. It was painless, and for that I thank you.

My eyes widened in shock as your blade sliced through me and then, I smiled. I smiled as darkness swam around the edges of my vision. I smiled because I knew it was over and 

everything would work out. Peace was glimmering on the horizon. We would eventually be reunited. It was the least I could do for you.

I was a Cetra. An Ancient. A Guardian of the Planet, the sole surviving daughter of Gaia sent to watch over the planet and those on it. I had helped so many. Sometimes it was simple, a smile could brighten so many days in the slums. Other times it was a little harder, sickness wasn't the easiest thing to heal but I did what I could. You were the only one I couldn't save in time. I tried…

How many times had I tried to find another alternative? I've lost count. You were no longer you. No longer the strong general you once were. You weren't the person I once knew, you had changed. The crisis from the sky had taken full control in your moment of weakness, in your moment of yearning for a mother's love and encouragement.

I suppose that yearning, that need, was always there. You just covered it well; your face always a stony mask of indifference. I wish you hadn't covered it up, you let yourself spiral downward in despair. You never could ask for help, you always had too much pride. But I would have listened.

That was always one of the things I admired about you. Your pride. You always held yourself with such dignity as though you ruled the planet. No one ever picked up on the undercurrent of pain, until me. At the time we met it would have been hard to think that a girl in a pink dress would be your demise. Her and her useless materia. But, then again, I was the only one you ever let in. The only one you trusted.

And when you changed you gave me a chance to save you.

_  
If all of the strength and all of the courage  
come and lift me from this place  
I know I could love you much better than this  
full of grace  
full of grace  
my love_

Even as strong as you were you were overcome. And, I know you may not appreciate it now, but in time you will thank me. I know you will. You love me as much as you despise the fact that I foiled your plans. Or does that despise come from a part of you that has yet to let go of Jenova's 'motherly' warmth? Do her cold tendrils still shackle your mind and warp it, even in this place? At any rate, you will see soon enough my sacrifice for you and I hope you learn to appreciate it. After all, it was my job.

You were always good at that. At acknowledging people when they deserved it. Although you may not have been the most complimentary person you always took the time to acknowledge someone when they had done something exceptional. So, I know, you will come around, in time. You always do.

So many times had I asked you something and you would decline. But, I wouldn't give up and you'd give in. You often joked about how I was the only one who could make you do anything. Was that really true?

_So it's better this way, I said  
having seen this place before  
where everything we say and do  
hurts us all the more_

You wanted to see the Promised Land. You wanted to find your way there and so I've shown you. The Cetra were furious with me for asking them to bring you here but we were already bound to each other. There was nothing they could to but obey my request.

It truly is beautiful here. There are flowers everywhere. Do you remember my flower garden? It's where we first met. What you were doing in the slums, I will probably never know. How you found your way to my ramshackle church, I will never know either. But, what I do know is how much the day I met you changed me.

That day, you were not a SOLDIER, a General, or an experiment you were a person, a person in pain. And, on that day, I realized something after our encounter, as I left the church. I realized that Midgar only brought pain to the people that lived there. And, from that day on I made it a point to smile for every person I met. I never did stop smiling. I still smile everyday even though all of the pain is gone. This place is magical, plain and simple and the best part of all, everyone smiles. I want to see you smile.

_It's just that we stayed, too long  
in the same old sickly skin_

Jenova had warped you. She stole your mind and you became her puppet. Would that have happened if I had been there with you? Would she have been able to control you that easily?

There I go again. Thinking of the 'what ifs'. I just wish I could have changed something. Then, maybe we would have been together. Had fate taken a stand, though? If I were able to change something would it have made a difference or would things end up the way they are now?

There are too many questions, too many possibilities.

_I'm pulled down by the undertow  
I never thought I could feel so low  
oh darkness I feel like letting go_

Pain echo's deep within me as I sit and watch you. As always you wear that cold mask of indifference although this time it doesn't seem to reach your eyes. Those beautiful green orbs that hold so much pain. When you look at me now, you seem more like a scared child, then the man I once knew. Your eyes are wide and your emotions are volatile.

You'll recover soon enough though and, you'll be back to the man I love. You'll walk around here as if you own the place. You'll begin training with Masamune again. Yes, it is here. It may have been the weapon that killed me but in a way it was weapon that saved us.

It returned me to my people and you to your senses. It brought us together again.

_If all of the strength_

_And all of the courage  
come and lift me from this place  
I know I could love you much better than this  
full of grace  
full of grace  
my love_

Even though I wish I could fix everything that went wrong. I know I can't. I'm just one person. One girl from the slums. But, I was able to do something and that's good enough. I was able to make a difference, and in the end, I guess I did save everyone. It's amusing, though, how insignificant they had seemed, when I look back. I was being selfish, for once in my life. My goal was to save you, and I ended up righting the Planet. Funny.

Soon you will be back to normal and we can live happily-ever-after. But, of course when has happily-ever-after come true? It has always been a childish dream of mine to live happily-ever-after with my prince. And, what do you know I got half of it.

This is enough for me. Just to be safe. Just to be with you.

_I know I could love you much better than this_

_It's better this way…_

_--R&R_


End file.
